Dreaming Existence

 My blogging friend  Pam  managed to put into words through her poem today what I have been feeling. The past year has been excruciatingly painful, trying, challenging and disappointing in so many ways. She, like myself, has tried to cling to the positive, to true hope and faith in the tenacity of living because this is what determined humans do.  I can’t speak for anyone else, but the physical and emotional trials alone don’t knock me off my feet. It is when my creative well runs dry that true depression comes knocking at my door. When I can’t find the words or sketch an image I feel like I am hanging over a great abyss with no hope but to plunge into the depths.  While we did ‘escape’ to paradise here in Panama, it has been enjoyable only in bits and pieces due to an emergent health issue that came up for my husband. I know he came close to death at least once during all of this and I have never felt as alone as I did in the moment I realized I had to make decisions to help him. He i